Fiction:

As life unwinds and the pages unfold,
You find that you cant believe all that your told.
People will lie and cheat and steal,
Life can be so hard that it doesn?t feel real.
All the pain and all the guilt,
This wall around me must be built.
It keeps everyone at a distance from me,
I don?t want to be the one to pay the emotional fee.
My trust has been broken way to many times before,
Waking up each day has become an annoying chore.
All these lies have become a mess,
Its hard for me to juggle all this stress.
There are people who aren?t worth it at all,
People who make me feel so small.
Why are they the ones I tend to turn to,
The ones that are always so untrue.
They?re sneaky so I don?t realize it until its to late,
I guess that failing is my ongoing fate.
I wish I my life had a remote and I could control the station,
I could pause it and take a breath to get a hold of my frustration.
Fast forward through the bad and rewind back to the good,
Maybe that way I would be better understood.

The blade of steel runs across my white flesh.
I know its wrong,
But feels good the more I push.
Trickles of crimson blood drip from my arm.
The pain within set free
With the cuts I leave.
The sting releases all the hurt,
From the first cut on?

From the first cut on
The hurt disappears
Able to deal
Memories killed.
Blood dripping
Relieving the pain.
Promising I wont do it again.
A razor to slice
A knife to slash
Anything I can find.
The only way to stay sane.

I start thinking,
Reliving it over in my mind.
Screaming inside.
No outlet to empty these memories.
My heart breaking
Tears flowing.
I have to escape
From this misery.

From the first cut on
The hurt disappears
Able to deal.
Memories killed,
Blood dripping.
Relieving the pain.
Promising I wont do it again
A razor to slice
A knife to slash
Anything I can find.
The only way to stay sane.

The humiliation sets in
Covering what I?ve done.
Unable to stop what I?ve begun
Ashamed of who I?ve become.
How did I end up here.
A fog covers what was once so clear.
The instruments of my insanity
Put away and hidden
Nowhere they can find.
Until I claim them again,
Until next time.

From the first cut on.
The hurt disappears
Able to deal
Memories killed.
Blood dripping
Relieving the pain.
Promising I wont do it again.
A razor to slice
A knife to slash.
Anything I can find.
The only way to stay sane.

Anything I can find.
To escape the pain of my mind.
Alone in this world.
I promise no more,
Until next time.

Look at all of the beautiful dead roses
So nice and eloquent in their stale poses
They look more precious than ruby gems
I wish I could pick a field of all of them

They have a bloody sanguine color
Because fresh roses are plain and duller
Dead roses have a more pleasant aroma
Powerful enough to knock lost souls out of their comas

Dead roses never cause any pain
Because fresh roses need tears as rain
Fresh roses require you to be sorry
Dead roses will never leave you weary

Dead roses with their nice dried petals
They joy they give me is never little
So when you give me flowers, give me dead roses
Give them to me in good health and in heavy doses.

A shady
Unknown figure darts across the sky
Was it real?
I see eyes
Staring
Accusing me of sins undone
They mock me
The laughter of demons
Piercing and cold
Scathing
Soon it blocks every other thought out
The face
The eyes
Watching
Never leaving
Never blinking
The face
Always out of view as I turn my head to identify the laughter.
I can never catch him
But I know he?s there
Finally as the clock strikes twelve
I see it
The body as of a demon, blue and horned
And a face that I recognize as my own...

It?s not the water that wears the stone
Nor the salt of the sea
Per se, but the monotony

Of the force of the wave
Repeated wave by minute by hour by day
By night by year by year by year.
You wore me out. There's nothing left to say.