Poetry

Divine Intervention

by

Ronald Orrantia

I remember my addictions, I remember how they played.
They held me by my throat despite how many times I prayed.
So many nights I watched my strung out wrists dance with a blade
But my arms never obeyed. They had no more strength within
Thanks to all the lines that I had paid.
No angles came to offer me redemption.
Only dealers came to help me pave my way.
No prophets came to scold me or even to console me.
No single word of wisdom did they have to say.
Pleading up to God to bring the silence,
To bring that sleep of death, the end of day,
I begged for that cry on shoulder but I just kept on geting older,
Losing too much weight, my hair kept turning gray
Those party favor whispers started screaming in my ears.
I sold my will to keep that thrill then all I'd left were stinging tears,
A pounding head, a lonely bed and paranoidal fears
Fed by a crystal dealer's cheers,
Dirty razors, make shift pipes and endless imported Irish beers.
Eight days brought waking dreams of depravation.
Nine days brought burning eyes and racing veins.
I ordered up another stash using haggled pawn shop cash.
Exhaustion finally hit me like a thousand trains.
Crawling across the floor to find my phone book
And ask a friend how many days its been,
She said "you've nothing else to sell, if you can't pay me, go to Hell."
What a fucked up way to start my life again.
All these years have marched along in pain. I still endure the crave.
I can still smell and taste temptations. I guess I'll take them to the grave.
I can only live my life as if I still have a sould to save,
Remembering what kept me a slave. That deathrow blast must stay the past.
I have to stay strong and be brave.